Steve Pavlina announced at his blog that he’s taking polyamory on a 30 day trial. Wikipedia defines polyamory as “a belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned.” There’s some semantic confusions with the word, but I’m sure that orgies are part of the equation. But my purpose is not to criticize, judge, or to tell you how morally wrong this is. Besides, I’m an agnostic atheist. My concern is about the idea of getting out of your comfort zone and if it’s possible to take it too far.
Many productivity and personal development writers offer the advice of getting out of your comfort zone. It’s generally good advice because it makes you grow as a person. It makes you learn things about yourself that you wouldn’t any other way. It’s probably the only way when you will truly improve and have progress on something.
But there are also some things that you can learn about in life that you don’t need to actually experience. You don’t need to be in a car crash to understand that it’s a smart thing to avoid.
The reason people stay in their comfort zones is exactly what it says. It is nicer to be there. Getting out of your comfort zone may give you valuable lessons in life, but it will still bring an unbalance to your life until you bring it back to balance. Thus to be in balance in life, you have to put some limits on things.
Steve Pavlina has had some radical ideas about some personal development themes. He’s kind of wacky with his “dark worker- light worker” stuff. He went on a “Juice Feast” and “Raw Diet” and logged the events at his blog. He’s obviously smart, but his philosophy of “I’ll try anything once” scares me a little.
To be a good “thought leader” you have to spend a large amount of time in your head. You have to be a little bit of a contrarian, have strong convictions, and be constantly challenging yourself. But the scary part of being too much in your head is that it’s hard to tell if you’re getting into “nana nunu” hippie california territory. You know, Charles Manson. Timothy Leary.
The limitations that we put on ourselves are based on some fundamental principles. Things that were forbidden to do weren’t necessarily forbidden on a whim. Things like the 7 deadly sins are based on these principles. The reasons they were dubbed sins is because those religious figures that thought them up understood that in excess they bring more bad things than good things.
Perhaps Pavlina is an advanced human after all, and I’m just repressed or maybe, sometimes, it’s better to stay in your comfort zone.