This is one of those I-want-to-get-this-of-my-chest posts. It’s a rant that I’m sure some people will not take well. It’s been in draft mode for a while because I want to be careful about this. I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I don’t want to appear bitter. I’ve been letting this “cool off” to see if I can be more objective about it. Get more perspective about it. But I can’t promise that. There’s some bitterness and subjectivity in this, but I hope there’s also some objectivity and perspective.
Warning: I used a little bit of colorful language.
So here goes my premise:
Job seeking protocols and policies are total bullshit.
So there you go. Please don’t leave yet. Keep on reading, I’ll tell you why and how I reached this conclusion.
Employers want passionate, creative, inspired, brilliant, and unique individuals to work for them.
People like that are not going to work for you. They’re not the “resume sending” kind of people. They’re more “curriculum vitae or portfolio sending” kind of people. They don’t really want to work for anybody. Maybe they will work for you, but it will probably be less than a year until they get a better offer from a competing company or simply start their own business.
Most people are just looking for a job, not a career. Those incredible people that employers lust for are fantasies. They don’t exist. Well, maybe. But they are more likely just like you, looking for people to hire.
This is a first world problem. Nobody wants to work for anybody now. Everyone has read The Four Hour Workweek and is planning to outsource they’re daily chores, paying Indians to search for birthday present ideas.
So who are these people that send “weak” resumes?
They are people who want a steady paycheck. People that got degrees because their mommies and daddies told them to. They grew up in times were going to college meant “progress”, good money, and steady jobs. They studied things like business, marketing, and accounting. Careers were there’s big money at. The irony of this can’t be bigger.
They are not stupid or lazy people though. They just don’t know yet that to get a good job, they have to be bullshiters. They don’t know that they have to “lie” to artificially inflate their resumes with “accomplishments.”
This standard way that employers filter job applicants has created a bullshit system. People write “lies” in their resumes, end of story. If you believe something written in a resume, then you think that WWF wrestling is real. If you’re impressed by someone in an interview, then you think Sarah Palin is qualified for Vice President.
The whole industry of career and job advice is bullshit also. They give a general and standard advice, when you instinctively know that the same advice can’t be applied to the millions of different types of industries, careers, and jobs that are out there. Extreme example: I think it’s very silly to write an objective section in your resume if you’re applying for a job a McDonalds.
This is the dilemma I’ve been facing for various months now, and I live in Puerto Rico, which I wouldn’t dare call a “first world country”, but we’re not exactly a “third world country” either.
There’s an advice they give to job seekers that I believe it’s very important and a no brainer and it is this: Don’t bad mouth old employers. With that said, I think employers should also shut the fuck up sometimes. You are not Google. The people that really, really want to work for you, will find ways to impress you. So stop crying. We are the ones that should be crying.